Jordan Storyboard Update

Here are the updated storyboards for Jordan's film that I changed from the feedback given last week. Since I don't know what the environment is like, I've only sketched a general layout.

I added posters advertising the Mime to show that he is in town.

Update On Stories + Primary References

After getting feedback from the tutors about my film and Jordan's film, I've made a new plan about what is to happen in both plots.

In 'River Man', the character of the man will be shown in a relationship both by his wedding ring and a photograph he tears up and throws into the river. The ring comes back up twice as the man throws it back in once it comes up the first time, and to take the hint that his relationship will be alright, the body of the riverman is shown by playfully kissing him on the bridge before falling back into the river, and also in  his human form walking up from the opposite direction of the man to personally give the ring back to the man.

I also think the appearance of the man's parter could make a late appearance right at the end and they hug in reconciliation, but I will get some feedback on this idea before I proceed with it.

Also in Jordan's story, I will add more background characters so that environment doesn't look empty with just the businessman and the Mime in the story. The Mime will also have to make a bit more of an appearance at the start so that the audience can see that there is a Mime in the environment instead of him just suddenly popping up from nowhere.
   With the first 'head hitting' shot, (where the man smacks into the Mime Wall) I'm going to milk that a bit so that it adds more animation and dramatics. I also think the businessman should show more anxiety instead of constantly being annoyed at the Mime. The tutors also suggested that the train should be more apparent either with it being in the distance, or as a sound effect before the businessman is allowed by the Mime to run to catch it.

Sound effects will be added to both animatics and shading/lighting will be added to my River Man story (as I plan to add shading...whether I do or not depends on some palette tests I'll make later on).

PRIMARY REFERENCES

Here are some primary references (videos and photos) of me acting out some scenes in my film and Jordan's film that I wasn't sure how to draw out. (Be warned I look really silly in these.)

Jordan's Film Mime References

River Man Actions

Music Inspiration

Here are some songs that I would like my music to sound like.

'Winter Light' by Linda Ronstadt

'Perfect Day' by Miriam Stockley

Animatic 1

Jordan Storyboard 1

Here is the rough storyboard to Jordan Morris' idea. I think it could be improved a lot but at the moment I would like to collect feedback so that I know on what to improve.

River Man Version 2

THIS POST IS VERY LONG!

Here are the individual panels to my storyboard for River Man with the ending altered from the previous storyboard. Also pleas note that the style changes halfway through because I changed the ending, in addition changing the characters slightly and the environment too.